- Women have been shamed with books like ‘women who love too much’
- Women have been shamed and rejected with cultural labels like ‘needy’ and ‘crazy’ for having emotional needs men couldn’t meet and emotional experiences and depth men couldn’t relate to due to their own emotional suppression
- As a side note, when men pursue a woman (as in rom coms) it is considered romantic, when women do it is considered desperate, they are treated with scorn and derision (for example, tv show ‘crazy ex girlfriend)
- Womens healthy neurological attachment needs have been pathologised and labelled codependency
- Women have been pressured, shamed and expected to marry (female spinsters socially rejected, while bachelors labelled ‘eligible’); it is not a surprise they would rebel against such an uneven social structure
- Men have chronically let women down (in part due to capitalist pressure and in part due to toxic masculinity); women have given up on being love fully by men and instead turn to women to meet their attachment needs
- The use of Cathy Newman’s response to Jordan Peterson being characterised as man hating is projection; her anger is reactionary to JP’s denial of systemic abuse and discrimination against women
One woman states ‘I see men as lower than me. I was very suppressed, so it’s a way for me to get my power back’.
Another states ‘most women don’t want to need a man. Because the amount of pain we have been through… it resistance, it’s self denial and it’s avoidance’.
- The use of the Gillette ad being dismissed as man hating and then the man acting like he needs to go elsewhere to ask women their thoughts: women are telling you loud and clear in the ad that you just minimised and dismissed. Don’t cat call and objectify us. Value us as equal humans. Don’t teach boys to shut down emotionally. Develop emotional maturity to match ours. Don’t use violence to solve conflict. Learn to address and resolve conflict healthily.
What do men expect after centuries of own women as property, and then commodifying and objectifying us, that we will fall at their feet ?
One woman states ‘improve themselves… in sex’.
Phallic centric sex is the norm to the extent that the medical literature still denies the reality of female ejaculation. Porn focusses on aggression against women and not on meeting their pleasure needs. Statistics for female orgasm are appalling, where men expect sex to end once they come.
‘If I had a single thing for men to work on it would be disconnection. They disconnect from their own hearts. They act more from logic. War… they can disconnect from women’s experience and empathy so that they can have one night stands….
‘In men there’s this very stable security, a strength, protection, a forward movement. And what that feels like when a man is in his power is he creates this safe container which allows me to feel this blossoming’ ❤️ ‘which allows me to be in this receptivity, which is really important, because in this state… a female without a man in this world it kinda feels like you have to tense yourself up and become something you’re not… when that containment is absent I notice my anxiety levels go up… I feel like I have to compensate for an energy that I’m lacking’
- In order for men to contain us they need to embody themselves and be whole… many women come to the (logical) conclusion that if men aren’t going to provide that, (which they generally don’t), then what do they have to offer us? Nothing. We may as well be free than live in containers that crush and devalue, rather than support us.
- Women’s relationship starts with the fathers. What do we have? 2-3 generations of emotionally or physically absent fathers.
‘I don’t think men have to look for masculinity specifically, what I want is for men to start looking for their own unique individual authenticity… if a man stops resisting himself in all these various ways that society has taught him, he will find his own unique authentic divine expression of masculinity. That’s the problem is men are looking outwards thinking it’s something out ‘there’ that they can emulate’.
- The man in the ad is representative of the fact women feel harassed and pestered. It is representative of what women are saying is their experience. Being heckled. Feeling threatened. Having men make public demonstrations for the purpose of dominance rather than connection.
‘What they really want is the real, authentic you’.